Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize