Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
