so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
