try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
