so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
