yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
