The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
