tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
