kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
