just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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