Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You don't make any sense
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