No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize