I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
