Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
