two words...techno handjob
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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