so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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