Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
