Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i drank out of a bidet.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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