im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
