And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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