the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
