I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just invented taco cereal.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
