Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
