They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize