Non-Jews are for practice
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
