woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
