This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
