When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
