I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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