Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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