You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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