I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
