make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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