So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
