This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
