I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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