Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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