is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
