I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
