i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
