Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
