Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
