she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
