Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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