I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
