i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
