its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Send help, water and tortillas.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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