we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Randomize
