Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize