Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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