If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
