like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
