Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
