Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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