why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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