i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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