Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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