It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
