Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
