I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
