ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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