thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
