You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
