Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
