Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
