"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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