You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And then my night got REAL pukey
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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