As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
