did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
