We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
