Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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