So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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