She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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