...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
