I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
